Cock-Blocking

Before we start today’s post I want to tackle two different Topics :

Topic 1 (Dallas Women)

 

There are two types of Women I see when going out in Dallas. Either they’re from uptown or downtown. The difference is downtown women are, what I like to call ” hood ” (raunchy), and uptown girls who are a bit more conservative.

                                               Down Town Girls

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                                                                                                                                                                  Uptown Girls

 

 

 

Topic 2 (cockblocking)

 

When it came to work, school, women . . . life, I’ve always been an underdog. Big pet peeves of mine would be :

• Someone judging me directly on my appearance.
• Doubting me, saying I won’t do something when I say I would.

I don’t wish to make fun or ruin someone’s night, but when I do, it’s because they’ve really hit a sore spot. And that’s the only time I decide to mess with someone. I have a couple of cock-block deal breakers:

Cock-block deal breakers:

• I am having a really good connection with a girl, and some prick doesn’t have the foresight to see two people enjoying each others company. They rudely interrupt trying to ruin a beautiful thing. (sometimes it’s the girl’s friend, or sometimes it’s a stranger)
• People judging me on my appearance, men trying to exploit pre-conceived notions about Asian men. (very conservative , push-overs, and short)

If you are or know anyone that’s a Scorpio than you know once we feel disrespected, we make it a life goal to take revenge.

 

 

Let’s start today’s story:

 

 

I found a blog one day that spoke about “White Girls Throwing up Gang Signs.” I found this video to describe EXACTLY what the blog was talking about :

 

 

 

 

I found the whole idea hilarious and ever since, I’ve had this obsession with getting “conservative uptown looking girls” to act really ghetto by throwing up gang-signs and such.

The night starts off with me checking out one of my favorite night spots called Lotus with my First-wingman ever Scott. While there I meet two uptown-blonds who I end up flirting with, one of which I liked so we’re going to call her UptownBlonde. Somehow we ended up talking about local gangs, one of the gangs mentioned was called “The Bloods”. (The Bloods : A street gang originally founded in Los Angelos. The gang is widely known for its rivalry with the Crips .)

Realizing this was a way to get the girls acting ghetto, I mentioned how it was such a phenomena when everyone knew the infamous “blood gang-sign.” We all started reliving our “gangstuh” moments of the past by throwing up the Blood’s Gang-Sign:

 

 

 

Uptown Women throwing it up !

UptownBlond wasn’t posing “hood” enough so I made her retake the shot:

 

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The night goes on and I meet another Blonde from Downtown who I found attractive.

 

Downtown Blond and me

As I am speaking to her guys are coming in trying to cock-block me. When guys come in to cock block me I actually don’t mind, for the most part I like to sit back and see how they do. We’d just met and hadn’t establish anything solid yet, because of this, I didn’t mind guys taking a crack at her. I sat back and watched them . . that is, till I noticed guys from the same group were taking turns cockblocking me. That really pissed me off because it violated one of my golden rules.

• People judging me on my appearance, men trying to exploit preconceived notions about Asian men. (very conservative push-overs and short)

I take extra time to put each one of their faces into my shit-list memory bank and continue on with my night.

 

An hour later DowntownBlonde approaches me saying:

: So . . . . you know Brandy?

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*side note* it really pisses me off when guys are unappreciative of certain things girls do and say. Call it IOI’s (IOIs- Indicators of Interested: A women showing certain signs she is interest in your company by touching her hair or leaning towards you) Except these aren’t the usual Indicators of Interest but done through words: Interests shown by the questions or statements she makes.

For example:

Interested Girl: So what type of girl are you interested in?

or

Interested Girl: What are you doing tomorrow morning?”

 

In this case it isn’t what DowntownBlonde said to me, but what she said under the circumstances. Despite her male friends trying to cock-block me, she went out of her way to re-engage me when she didn’t have to. That shows interest and interest is the first step towards any type of seduction.

I see men get asked these questions and don’t understand the effort women are putting out. When I hear these questions, it’s not a matter of IF I get the girl, but more of a matter of WHEN. What guys take for granted, I let women know I am very appreciative by seducing them.

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While hanging out with DowntownBlond I intrigue her more and more by my body language and how I am wording my sentences . . . I can’t help but think to myself, “I got this in the bag “

As we’re enjoying each other’s company I noticed one of her douche bag male friends about to violate my first rule:

• While two people are having a really good connection, some prick doesn’t have the foresight to see two people enjoying each other’s company and tries to ruin it.

 

Because he looked like some cheesy latin from a love novel I am going to coin him RiCO SuAVE. ( Rico Suave: a hit single in 1991 where the narrator tells of his luck with women and his lady-loving lifestyle.) If your unfamiliar with the music video take a look:

 

 

 

 

In this case he actually looked like this:

 

Lo and Behold he eventually comes in, but right before he could finish his first word I interrupt him by saying:

” HeeeY RicO SuAVE! ” What’s goin on?? “

The look on his face was priceless . . . he just froze up and stood there.

 

 

Despite me calling him Rico, his mission was complete as he ruined what could have been a beautiful thing with me and Downtownblond.

 

 

An hour later Scott’s telling me this story while at the same time I notice Rico Suave trying to game UptownBlonde.I tried to stay focused on Scott’s story but couldn’t help but look at the annoying smirk, chest poppin, retarded Affliction shirt wearing Rico Suave. I want you to imagine the most annoying person ever created.. I am talking about :

• Wearing glasses he taps on it while talking to others.
• He speaks only in a “robot” voice.
• Sniff incessantly.
• He makes beeping noises when a large person backs up.
• He showers in cologne.
• He’ll invite lots of people to your parties.
• He’ll drums on every available surface.
• Places his shoes on tables.
• When walking, he’ll talk to himself constantly.

… and that is how much Rico Suave Annoyed me.

I had to excuse my self from Scott and his friend by saying, ” I am going to go cock block Rico Suave. “

I walk up . . .

” Heey Riccoo Suaavee whaats up ! ! “

” omg_ You_ know_ tim??

In a disturbed tone: ” not really . .. “

So, how do you know Rico here??”

” She was my EX girl friend “

L O L ” Ooooohh Reeeally . . . . UptownBlonde, how’d you let go such a good thing ?? “

They talk and I segue to the girl next to them, I bonded really well with her because I appreciated this Tattoo she drew on her back. I am going to call her TB ( Tattooblond ), as we’re talking UB joins us by saying ” So, how do you know Tim? “

I knew I could have gotten somewhere with UptownB because TB was talking me up, it definitely gave me some social proof and Uptownblonde was definitely buying it.

The three of us are enjoying each others company when Rico interrupts me yet AGAIN.

” Hey guys, I am leaving. “

” Heeey Rico whaats up?! Your Leaving?! Why man?! “

(while doing this I am making sure everyone from a 15 foot radius hears me )

Rico gave me a look . . .it read something like : ” come on man, give me a break ”

*side note* I see Scott and his friend laughing and it sort of adds more fuel to my flame

 

” Daaymn, RICO ! He gets AALL the LADIES ! “

*TattooBlond next to me whispers: * Really???

*yelling out loudly* O M G P U HA HA HA HA HA HA HA . . . *pointing at the blond and back at Rico* then yelling ” Tattooblond said R E A L L Y ?!?! p u ha ha ha ha ha*

As I am doing this I see the disgust in UptownBlond’s face. It definitely read: ” Omg what an oboxious asshole! “ and I could see the reaction on Rico Suave . . . let’s just say the expression shown on his face looked like he wanted to find a corner and cry.  

To give you an idea on how I throughly obliterated Rico because I was an obnoxious prick, I am going to show you someone whose like this most of the time. Our friend, Joe Rogan:

 

So in the end, I didn’t get the girl . . . .

 

 

 

but it was worth it

 

 

I realized I could have handled it better if I wanted the girl. I could have been the bigger man. I don’t wish to make fun or ruin someones night, but when I do it’s because they’ve really hit a sore spot.

 

ATTENTION

Retarded Hair Competition: I have received a total of 17 different old-school hair photos. I will be posting up my top Four Favorites in a few days and hopefully pick a winner.

” I found the most retarded young photo of myself that I could with the retarded short haircut I had at the time.” -Liza

To Liza: I will post your picture for everyone to judge, and the world will see if you indeed look retarded or what I think, adorable. Hopefully, everyone will agree with me on disqualfying you.