My Journey, My Entourage.

“ We cannot do it alone but together we can make a difference – Yes, we can!” -Barack Obama

In all my endeavors, the reason I am successful isn’t because I am independent. But Interdependent. (a dynamic of being mutually responsible and sharing a common set of principles with others) I make sure everyone around me are emotionally, economically, and morally “interdependent.” I recognize unique characters, reinforce the potential in each my friends to finally, weave all our talents together.

I want to share with you my journey of self-motivated goals that lead to something remarkable, a crew of uniquely independent men who realize by ourselves we are strong, but together we’ll make history. A group of individuals who I am proud to say are not only my comrades, but unique characters who contribute their specialized talents in creating an unstoppable force that is the vary definition of: “Presence.”

It all started with Scott, my first wing-man. Scott’s this surf and turf boogaloo breaker dude from the West-Coast, while in L.A he opened a very successful acting/modeling agency but has since sold it to manage and become a major asset in a company dealing with stocks.

Scott and me in L.A

Remember how I said Scott’s this surf and turf dude? I wasn’t lieing, he was considered an innovator in a sport known as ”Wake-Boarding.”   If he stuck with Wake-Boarding, he could have went pro. Here is an old video of him years ago busting some insane flips.

I may have taught him a thing or two in pickup, but through the years Scott’s wisdom has shined in times of need, I am proud to say from him I‘ve learned:

• Value in friends, beliefs’ and morals
• Business ethics
• Last but not least, how to pick up women on Running Trails

Scott is now out of the game with lady-friend of at least a year, I still keep in touch with him as his friendship is worth more than pickup itself.

After Scott I found it hard to find a wing who could match where I was in terms of “pick up.” So I started my long journey of wingman training/recruitment.

The first wing-man I trained is one of my proudest accomplishments.

Andy “ Tie-Guy” Segars

I met Andy while at a bar, I found him picking up broken glass on the side of the road.  His vary first words to me were:

Andy:  ” Broken Glass, it’s hazardous and people could get hurt and die.”

It was that moment I knew he was a character. Andy’s a country-singer song writer from Atlanta, Georgia. He’s originally from Dalton, apparently the number one “Carpet Capital” in the world. But don’t let his background fool ya as he’ll sing to Country’s Willie Nelson one second and rap to “Dr. Dre’s ” Nothin’ but a G Thang” the next. Oh, and he does it all flawlessly.

After recruiting him into my social circle, I spent countless frustrated nights yelling, sweating and beating my teachings into Andy. After months of emphasizing on  strong points and balancing Andy’s weak points, he finally started getting good- till what you see now. An innovator. Andy is known for his contributions in some of my teachings today, specifically: Banter, Nonverbal techniques and his forte- “follow-up game.”

Andy “ Tie-Guy ” Segars

After a year and a half of being my apprentice and wing-man, Andy Segars is starting a new chapter in his life. Moving to San Francisco where he’ll spread my teachings in his own unique ways: The Tie-Guy Way.

After Andy there were two failed attempts in finding my next wing. When hope seemed depressing I was finally blessed with:

Nice-Guy-With-Game. Aaron-Dan

 

I like to call Aaron “A younger version of Scott.” However, this individual is still a character and unique in so many ways, from his play-list ( Eminem, Arrow Smith, Michael Jackson, Willie Nelson) to his survival skills in the outdoors. (toss him a knife and he’ll live in the wilderness for days on end. No Joke.) Oh, like Scott, he has this crazy talent dealing with water:

Semi-Pro White-Water kayaking  (video of him kayaking in New York, Massachusetts, Vermont, and Canada. )

Aaron’s naturally a nice guy, except he plays “The Nice Guy Bit” better than anyone else. This guy gets laid more often than most “bad boys” I know.

Unfortunately, after six months of being my wing Aaron is moving back to Massachusetts where he’ll work and eventually like Andy, spread my teachings in his own unique way:  The “Nice-Guy-Way.”

Finally, the wingman I am currently training. This is James:

Originally from Houston Texas, he’s trained in multiple areas in Kicking-your-Ass. His background consists of Kicking-Your-Ass with hand, Kicking-your-Ass with Feet, and Slapping-your-face with Penis.
Currently studying at the “Harvard of Chiropractic Schools” located in Dallas, he’s a Mixed Martial Artist and currently participates in a sport known as  “ Tricking “( relatively new underground alternative sport movement, combining martial arts, gymnastics, breakdancing and other activities to create an “aesthetic blend of flips, kicks, and twists.”)

I couldn’t find any videos of Jame’s Tricking, which is a shame because I’ve seen him and he is amazing. However, here is a video of his friend Steven showing you what tricking is all about.  Steven is currently featured on MTV’s America’s Best Dance Crew.

James is the first Asian Wing-man I’ve ever had. I try to steer away from Asian wing-men because in Dallas, two Asians with no White Associate will get stereotyped as ignorant Asians who only talk and associate with their own kind. However, despite race, James’s character shines through. I finally found someone like me, who won’t get categorized as the stereotypical Asian.   It’s a new chapter for me and my new wing, I am excited to see what lies ahead.

Alone walking with Swagger I am turning heads getting noticed. But with all my boys it’s a massacre. Together we represent the vary words “owning the venue.” But that’s only because I know it takes hard work to recognize and reinforce the potential in each my friends to finally, weave all our talents together. Making us a strong unit of infinite possibilities.

In the end it’s not about what I can do for myself, but what I can offer to empower the lives around me.

You may ask: How can I find my own entourage ? Well besides reading my endeavors and learning from them, I went ahead and found an article by Brian McClellan. It explains in detail how to build what I have: A group of individuals who will build a never-ending mountain of knowledge, skill and desire.

The people who surround you–your support system–will determine how well you will build and maintain the self-confidence necessary for success. Why? They are the ones that are feeding your mind on a regular basis. Having self-confidence that will never fail is a manifestation of a strong mind. Anything we want to be strong in the future needs to be fed well in the present. An Olympic athlete that dines on milkshakes and candy bars will be a former Olympic athlete in no time. By the same token, your mind needs to be fed well to become a strong, confident mind. So, how do you build a strong support system that will help you become successful?

Adhere to the golden rule of building a support system

Everyone you invite into your life should make you better. This is the golden rule when building your entourage, the people with whom you spend the bulk of your time. Hang only with people for whom your success is their success. The people around you must support your quest to be great…or be gone!

Stock your support system with unconditional love

You need people who will be with you, no matter what. When you win, they are happy without reservation or qualification, celebrating like they did “it” themselves. They do not condone your screw-ups, but they will be with you no matter how many times you screw up. The mere presence of these people in your life builds self-confidence because you will always know that someone will support you no matter what you try. These people make you better psychologically.

Stock your support system with tough love

These are the people who will tell you what you need to hear, no matter how much the truth hurts. The tough love members of your entourage are like that coach in your life who is tough, but fair. They may not always encourage you in the nicest way, but they always want the best for you. Your obligation is to take the tough love advice without being offended by the words, knowing that heeding the message will make you better.

Remove “haters” from your support system

Haters are the polar opposite to those bring unconditional love to your life. Rather than reveling in your success, haters revel in your misfortune. Haters, if they were not so dangerous, would be pitiable people. They are miserable people who have already decided that they do not have the talent, drive or intellect to be successful. Sadly, haters have decided that their best hope for happiness is to sabotage your attempt to be great rather than stage an attempt of their own. They want as many people as possible to share in their misery. Haters are the biggest threat to your self-confidence and should be avoided at all costs.

Remove the competition from your support system

There is an old saying that states that you should “keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” I believe nothing could be further from the truth. Your enemies, which may include competitors seeking exactly the same prize as you, should not be in your support system except under the rarest of circumstances. Part of the benefit of having a strong support system is the ability to expose one’sweaknesses to that supportivegroupof people without fear of negative consequences. As much as I believe in fellowship, cooperation and the basic goodness of mankind, I believe it would be very difficult to find the individual who, when privy to the weaknesses of the direct competition, would not use these weaknesses to his own benefit.

Remove enablers from your support system

Enablers are those people that tell you want you want to hear, but following their advice always seems to get you in trouble. Enablers are the ones that talk you into going out to party the night before a big test. They suggest that you go to the casino when you can’t afford to lose any more money. They get you to havethatextra piece of cake when you are on a diet. In short, they are always talking you into putting yourself in harm’s way. In some ways, enablers are the hardest of the negative influencers to spot because their behavior sometimes looks like unconditional love. You must be extra vigilant to ensure that enablers don’t drag you into something that you know you should be avoiding.

Be your own best friend

. . .. . .How do you become a better friend to yourself? Anyone who wants someone else to do well will start by putting him in the best position to succeed. Great leaders work to create an environment around those that follow that is conducive to success. Similarly, being your own best friend means positioning yourself for success as you accept the challenge of greatness. Know yourself like you wrote the manual. Use this knowledge to perform under the best circumstances possible (i.e., if you are a morning person, schedule big “events” for the morning when you can). Find ways to use negative people as motivation, not reason to fail.

This post is dedicated to my Crew, The Falcon Crew.

To the many memories we’ve had and many more to come. I am fortunate to have met and contribute something in your lives as well as yours to mine.  May you start A new Chapter in your life filled with Knowledge, Skill and Desire.